Thinking Deeply

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I am a young female who is sorting out a lot right now. A year ago, I was going through a lot of mental issues, prescribed by me, a psychology major. I had a low self-esteem, was not eating, talking to anyone, or sleeping. I was void as a human being. This year, however, has been a different story. I understood that I was trying to control what I couldn’t and not controlling what I could. In essence,  I had some severe clarity, and I craved it. That is why I started doing yoga, eating more organic and healthy food, playing the piano again, listening to music, and having craft night. Also as a part of this clarity, some more major life events took place as well. I made some great friends, or so I thought, and found my voice through feminism. My relationship with my boyfriend couldn’t be better, I feel great most of the time, and I feel more healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically. Some people who have come into my life recently, however, only want to hang out when they need advice or are having a hard time with life. They never want to hang out just for the sake of hanging out. This has been a recurring theme in my life, and I have been really reflecting on it lately. Why this happens to me that is. Is it because I am too nice? Too desperate for friends? Was it because I was socially deprived as a child, or a combination of all of them? Another related topic that I have been wondering about is how much of our needs should be suppressed for others because I feel that I am there way more for others than they would ever be for me. I guess that is just the curse of being a nice person…

2 responses »

  1. Pingback: Thinking Deeply | femfly0828

  2. The problem is that you’re blaming yourself for the way others treat you, and that’s not your fault! They do that because they’re jerks. You’re better than that!

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